pixes

sacrificial dress

choice

u go enter?

smoking killz

lol

Haba

IS THIS DUMB OR WAT

LITTLE TOMMY AND MAThs

Tommy was doing very badly in math and his parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers etc . Finally in a last ditch effort, they enrolled him in the local Catholic School.

After the first day, little Tommy comes home with a very serious look on his face. He doesn't kiss his mother hello but goes straight to his room & starts studying, Books & papers are spread out all over the room and little Tommy is hard at work. This goes on day after day while the mother tries to understand what made all the difference.

Finally, little Tommy brings home his report card. He quietly lays it on the table and goes up to his room and hits the books. With great trepidation, his mom looks at it and to her surprise, little Tommy got an A in math. She can no longer hold her curiosity. She goes to his room and says: "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?"

Little Tommy looks at her and shakes his head "No".

"Well then", she replies, "was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms, WHAT was it?".

Little Tommy looks at her and says, "Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the PLUS SIGN, I knew they weren't fooling around.

Eiya na 1:0 oh

Messi: Javi u no go pass ba

carry ur burden

A husband comes home from Church, greets his wife, lifts her up and carries her around the house.

The wife is so surprised and excited!

She asked with a smile, “Did the Pastor preach on being romantic?”

Out of breath the husband replied, “No, he said we must carry our burdens…”

accident

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and
watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch,
fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She explained that she
was a physical therapist: "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve
your pain if you'd allow me", she told him earnestly.
Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be alright, I'll be fine in a few minutes, he replied breathlessly as he remained
in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.

But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them
to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside and began to massage him. She then
asked him: How does that feel? To which he replied: It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell.

idi idi

Idi amin visited the queen of Britain and was given a royal treat!  ate and drank to the brim. After everything, he had the opportunity to express his appreciation.

Idi Amin had intended saying that, he  was satisfied and that the next the queen would visit Uganda, he would reciprocate the kind gesture.

Here's what he said: "Queen Elizabeth, in fact, i am fed up! Next time if you came to Uganda my hometown, I will revenge!"