THE POPE N HIS LIMO

After getting all of the Pope's
luggage loaded into the limo
(and he doesn't travel lightly),
the driver notices that the Pope
is still standing on the curb.
The Pope was still standing on
the curb.
"Excuse me, Your Eminence,"
says the driver, "Would you
please take your seat so we can
leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says
the Pope, "they never let me
drive at the Vatican, and I'd
really like to drive today"
"I'm sorry but I cannot let you
do that. I'd lose my job! And
what if something should
happen?" protests the driver,
wishing he'd never gone to
work that morning.
"There might be something
extra in it for you," says the
Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in
the back as the Pope climbs in
behind the wheel.
The driver quickly regrets his
decision when, after exiting the
airport, the Supreme Pontiff
floors it, accelerating the limo to
105 mph.
"Please slow down, Your
Holiness!!!" pleads the worried
driver, but the Pope keeps the
pedal to the metal until they
hear sirens.
"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose
my license," moans the driver.
Bigger
The Pope pulls over and rolls
down the window as the cop
approaches, but the cop takes
one look at him, goes back to
his motorcycle, and gets on the
radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he
says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and
the cop tells him that he's
stopped a limo going a hundred
and five.
"So bust him," said the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do
that, he's really important," said
the cop.
Chief exclaimed, "All the more
reason!"
"No, I mean really important,"
said the cop.
The Chief then asked, "Who ya
got there, the Mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: "Governor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief,"Who is
it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
Chief: "What makes you think
it's God?"
Cop: "He's got the Pope for a
limo driver!"

DEATH IN A HOSPITAL

This case happened in a hospital’s Intensive care ward where Patients always died in the same bed and on all Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about, i was even among them with my holy water.



Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil……, Just when the Clock struck 11…

And then……

then…,

then……,

the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward, unplugged the life support system and plugged in the vacuum cleaner.

BOI VS MUM

A baby was born at the st anns
hospital laughing like crazy, the
doctors noticed the baby was holding
something in his tiny hands, he
carefully pulled it's little fingers apart
and found an abortion pill, the baby
looked up at his mother and said ''am
alive NaughtyWoman

WTF

A man dials his home and a strange
woman answers.
The man says, "Who is this?"
"This is the maid," answers the
woman. "We don't have a maid," says
the man.
The woman says, "I was hired this
morning by the lady of the house."
The man says, "Well, this is her
husband. Is she there?"
The woman replies, "She is upstairs in
the bedroom with someone who I
figured was her husband."
The man is fuming and says to the
maid, "Listen, would you like to make
$50,000?"
The maid says, "What will I have to
do?" The man tells her, "I want you to
get my gun from the desk, and shoot
the witch and the jerk she's with."
The maid puts the phone down; the
man hears footsteps and then two
gun shots. The maid comes back to
the phone "What do I do with the
bodies?"
The man says, "Throw them in the
swimming pool."
Puzzled, the maid answers, "But you
don't have a pool."
A long pause and the man says, "Is
this
07031002368

joystick

A man had a 25 inch joystick and felt miserable
because women wouldn't want to sleep with
him,so he goes to this doctor who told him
nothing could be done about the size of his
joystick but that he knew of a method which
might be of help.He said that if he went to a
pond and asked a frog to marry him his joystick
would shrink by 5 inches every time the frog
says no.Off he goes to the pond the next day to
find a frog,on getting there he sees a frog and
he ask the frog to marry him.The frog turns and
answers "no" ,he feels a stir in his pants and to
his amazement his joystick has shrunk to 20
inches.he asks again " please marry me",the
frog replies again," No",he feels the stir and his
joystick shrinks to 15 inches.He thinks one
more would be ok,so he asks again,"will you
marry me"the frog in a fit of rage replies,"how
many times do I have to tell you,NO, NO,NO ".