The Oil is running out

It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old white man married a 20-year-old white girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow.

"This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?"

He answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running."

The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, "You really are amazing. How do you do it?"

He again said, "You've got to keep the old motor running."

The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said, "You must be quite a man."

He responded, "You've got to keep that old motor running."

The nurse then said, "Well, you had better change the oil because this one's black."

Nigerian Men Are Lazy - British Baroness

‘Most of the men in Nigeria don’t do anything, their wives do all the work, that’s why they have so many. They have four wives – one to do the farming, one to look after the children, one to look after the man and one to do the housework. It is just a fact." - Controversial peer, Baroness Flather (a teacher and politician) said on a radio phone-in debate on polygamy yesterday in the UK, after a Nigerian caller told how his father had four wives and 11 children, who all lived together in the same house without problems.

Lol, it's not funny but I can't help but laugh...see as dem yawa Naija men...lol. But seriously, the statement is quite silly.

Steph-Nora Okere settles with PSquare over intellectual property theft

The actress accused the Okoye brothers of stealing material from one of the tracks in her yet-to-be released debut album. Now, according to their managers, they've resolved the issue.
From Steph-Nora's manager, Ope Banwo:

There is no case again. The matter has been resolved. They've settled and I believe it's over. They are friends.

From P-Square's PR person, Bayo Adefu
P-Square never had any problem with Steph Nora in the first place because they were surprised to read all she said in the media. Listen to both songs and you will realize there's no similarity

Maltina Dance All 5: Ekubo Family Danced Away With Maltina's N5m and SUV

The Ekubo family from Port Harcourt, Rivers State has been crowned Nigeria’s number one dancing family as the curtains finally fell on the popular family TV reality show Maltina Dance All (MDA) season five sponsored by Maltina, a premium non-alcoholic malt brand from the stable of Nigerian Breweries Plc.  

The Expo centre of Eko Hotel and Suites was agog and filled to capacity as the Ekubo family danced their way to the winning the grand prize of N5million and a brand new Toyota Siena SUV at the live grand finale of the show. The Dare and Utogo families came second and third respectively with a cash prize of N1 million and N500, 000. 

 

The Ekubo family alongside four families that qualified for the finals; Dare, Owolabi, Utogo and Ngwu families gave their last performance to thrill the audience and boost their votes. The grand finale show hosted by the Kemi Adetiba had the Owolabi family open the first phase of the show with a performance thrilling the audience with Diana Ross’ “He lives in You” followed by the Utogo family with an entertaining piece of Angelique Kidjo’s “Agolo”. The Ekubo family performed with Infinity’s “Olori oko”. Next on stage was the Ngwu family with an exciting dance style with Terry G’s “knack u apako”. Dare family closed the first phase of the show with Cabo Snoop’s “prakatatumba”.

The second phase of the show was the hip-hop performance and was opened by the Ngwu family dancing to Chris Brown’s “Tonight is the Night”. Next to perform was the Dare family giving an exhilarating performance with Tpain and Florida’s track “Low”. Owolabi family was next to perform dancing to Prince’s “Give it to me” followed by the Utogo family giving a marital performance with Dr. Sid’s “Something about you”. The Ekubo family closed the show with Neyo and Pit Bull’s “Everything”.

The dance instructors and judges of the MDA Academy crowned the show with a captivating performance that drew accolade from the audience and earned them a standing ovation.

Mr. Jacco Van der Linden, Marketing Director of Nigerian Breweries Plc who spoke prior to the presentation of the cheque and car keys to the Ekubo family said viewers’ votes will crown one family the biggest and best dancing family of Nigeria. “I am very glad to say that we have doubled the price money; this year truly is the biggest Maltina dance all ever. N5million is the winning prize plus a brand new family SUV waiting here outside. Also we have in the last few weeks gotten over forty thousand fans that have been following and commenting on Facebook”.

In a joyous expression of excitement as the family representative of the crowned family of the MDA season 5, Ebimene Ekubo, recounts the journey from the regional auditions in Port-Harcourt where he qualified his family, “Now I can say that every effort we infused into our dance styles is worth it. I am very happy with the 5million and the SUV, and only hope it is not a dream, because I will not wake from it. But we thank God because it is real. Maltina has given us an experience that I will live to tell my children when I grow up”. 

Similarly, Glory Ekubo the little sister that kept the audience constantly on their feet at the final could not hide her excitement, feeling on top of the world she claimed that “from day one we know that we are going to win because we did not come here to joke. We came here to win the N5million and the SUV and I am very happy that today my family is crowned the number one dance family in Nigeria. It is a thing of joy and we only have Maltina to thank for this, they have given a very humble family like ours the platform to shoot ourselves to stardom and we will ensure that we are worthy ambassadors of the brand.” 

Janell Burgess, a professional dancer from the United States of America and one of the Judges, said she is proud of all the families that performed at the finals because “they embodied what we really cherish here in Maltina which is family unity. One thing so special about Nigeria is that its peoples really value and appreciate family. Here in Maltina, we promote family unity and dance as an art. I'm so pleased with the alliance of Maltina with the MDA family reality TV show, it has shown that dance is a living and breathing profession that can serve as a unifying factor in society and can also be adopted as a profession by the families.”

She stressed that over the years, there has always been a tremendous improvement each year in the dance performances of the families. “Because education is an ever ongoing process, Maltina created the MDA Academy to teach families more about the art of dancing, the way to move and adjust their bodies to different types of music. We basically educate them on dance styles and patterns, so every year; it is only going to get better as the education also gets stronger”

Burgess added that, “the number one reason the Ekubo family won is because they truly embodied the idea of family and they worked together at 100 percent level throughout the season as a family and that's exactly what the MDA seeks to tell the nation, that the MDA is all about family values - bringing families together through dance.”

Asked on what they intend to use the money for, Ebimene Ekubo said “now that we have won the money I will further my education to the highest level, I want to study Theatre Arts so that I can further dance at a higher level.”

The Ekubo family were the only family that were never put up for possible eviction throughout their stay in the MDA Academy where they performed the six dance styles; “Wazobia” (Contemporary Nigerian dances), Salsa, Pantomime, Paso-doble, Hip hop and contemporary African dance styles. 

Meanwhile, other Nigerians who witnessed the live grand finale commended Maltina for the Dance All concept which they say is relevant in 21^st century Nigeria. Dr. Taiwo Olorunfemi, a Psychologist said the present day family is so fragmented because of modernization which most of the time compels both Parents to be out of the home at the same time thus eroding a very important component; togetherness. “But with such a concept families can bond together and solve problems as some of the families in the competition confessed that this is the first time they are staying together as a unit for a long time. So I commend Maltina for the initiative that brought so many families together and show the way that the family is still the bedrock of society”

Another Nigerian, Mr. Okechukwu Anosike said unlike other reality show where an in individual cannot pick positive values, the MDA has “succeeded in showing the way that with ingenuity and foresight, a corporate citizen can look at society, identify a certain need and look for creative ways of addressing such need, which to the best of my knowledge Maltina has done with the MDA.”

Pictures from the event...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Laughing Customer

A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, theres no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe its a good thing.

The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again he leaves the store laughing wildly. This piques the interest of the pharmacist. Whats so funny about buying a rubber, anyway?

So he tells his clerk, "If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow him to see where he goes."

Sure enough, the next day the laugher is back. He buys the condom, starts cracking up, then leaves. The pharmacist tells his clerk to go follow the guy.

About an hour later, the clerk comes back to the store.
"Did you follow him? Where did he go?" asks the pharmacist.
The clerk replies "Your house."

The Voice

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.

He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"

"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.

"Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

Bomb Scare Forces Shift Of Call To Bar Venue

The threat of Boko Haram attack has forced the Nigerian Law School to move the venue of this year’s Call to Bar to the International Conference Centre (ICC) in Abuja.


The Call to Bar – an annual induction of new lawyers – is traditionally held at the Law School in Bwari, in the Federal Capital Territory.

This year’s event is slated for October 5.

Head of Information Nigerian Law School, Bwari, Mr Chinedu Ukekwe confirmed the shift of venue from the school to ICC in an interview with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) yesterday.

He said the change of venue was initiated by the management of the school to ensure the security of lives.

Ukekwe noted that “there are many porous gardens within the premises of the school and such gardens could deter security.’’

He said the Call to Bar programmes had always been in Bwari “but the issue of insecurity in the country has changed the location.’’

He said the level of insecurity in the country is a thing of major concern to every citizen.

Mohammed Umar, the police chief in Bwari was not available to comment on the issue.

Wizkid Covers Ice Magazine

 

Now in stores!

Bomb Making Factory Discovered in Suleja

Men of the State Security Service (SSS) yesterday Tuesday Sept 6, claimed to have discovered a bomb-making factory in Iku Village in Suleja, a town outside Abuja that has been hit by attacks in the past year.

Materials recovered included a gas cylinder, detonator materials and other items. Six people have so far been arrested.